By Allen Haynes • May 5, 2025 Listen to the podcast. Andy Stanley (00:02): Hey everybody. Welcome to the Andy Stanley Leadership Podcast, a conversation designed to help leaders go further faster. I’m Andy. And before we jump into today’s content, I wanted to talk for just a minute about a special offer from our friends at belay. Whether you’re part of a startup, a small business, or maybe a large organization. What we have in common is we all want to grow our organizations and we want to get better as leaders, but you need extra time to do what only you can do as a leader, and you don’t need to be doing the things that you’re probably not all that good at anyway, right? And this is where our friends at belay can be of extraordinary help. BELAY will help you free up your time and allow you to focus on the things that allow you to be most successful, the things that only you can do or that you do best, your best value add for your organization. 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I’m Andy Stanley. Today we’re talking about a leader’s perhaps most effective tool for good or for bad. Today we’re talking about words, the words we use, and here’s the thing. Leaders, before we jump into the content, our words matter, and I know you know this, but our words matter more than we think, and they are certainly weightier than we imagine. And what we say, as well as what we don’t say is currently, I mean this is happening for all of us, is shaping our team, is shaping our culture. In some ways it’s shaping our entire organization. And the thing is, and this is why we’re talking about it today, we don’t feel the weight of our words, but the people around us certainly do. And the people who report to us, they really do. And joining me to unpack this important topic is my cohost, Suzy Gray. Welcome back, Suzy. Suzy Gray (02:43): Thanks, Andy You know as you said, this is one of those topics that every leader knows matters, but I don’t really think most of us realize how much. Andy Stanley (02:52): Yeah. And the easiest way for us to again feel the weight of this conversation, pun intended, is to flip it around. It becomes apparent when you think back. Let’s all just think back for a moment to a leader that we had a boss, a manager who said encouraging things to us. In fact, we can still remember some of those things, right? Or they were critical of us. And we can definitely remember some of those criticisms. We can quote them verbatim and we’re going to talk about why in just a minute. Or maybe it was something they didn’t say that we needed them to say at a particular moment in time because of what was going on. And that one statement, or even that lack of one statement, it stuck with us more than that. It kind of stuck in us. And the reason is because words carry weight in a leader’s words carry a lot of weight. (03:37): So this isn’t a discussion about just being careful with our words. It’s about how to be intentional with our words because they are one of our most important tools. They’re one of the leader’s most important tools. Again, they shaped the emotional climate of an organization. If you think about a place you’ve worked, and it felt great, it had a lot to do with the words that were spoken or the words that weren’t spoken. So words really do shape the emotional climate of an organization, which impacts the culture, impacts expectations, and they really determine whether or not people feel valued or dismissed, motivated or discouraged. So we know those are all the soft skills. That’s kind of the soft side of organizational life. So this is a really big deal, and some of us we’re just good at this because it comes naturally. Maybe it’s what was modeled for us and for others of us. We’ve had to learn the hard way and we need some coaching. And in my case, as I’ll share in a few minutes, I really need constant reminders because again, as much as I believe in this, as much as I’ve taught on it, it’s easy for it to just slip off the radar screen. Suzy Gray (04:37): Why do you think that leaders’ words weigh more, or at least they seem to weigh more? Andy Stanley (04:42): Yeah, I thought about that because you sent me the questions ahead of time, Suzy Gray (04:47): So you thought about it. Thank you. Andy Stanley (04:48): Yeah. And so I just want to say this is my opinion, and here’s what I want our listeners to hear. Whether or not you agree with what I’m about to say is irrelevant. What we can agree on, and what we’re going to get to in a minute is that words matter, and words are important now as to why they matter. There’s a lot of science behind this. But essentially, I think it boils down to this. We all want affirmation. We all want approval. And the person out there that’s going, oh, I don’t care about that. You do care, but just hang with us. We all want affirmation and approval, but we want affirmation and approval from the people we look up to and respect. I mean, this goes back to our parents. And notice the language that we use. We talk about people we look up to. (05:30): So just think about that imagery. There are people that we look up to, which means they’re over us to some extent. We think maybe they’re better than us, they’re older than us, they’re smarter than us, they’re more accomplished than us. But all of us have this picture. There are some people we look up to with that imagery in mind, I think that psychology and science aside for just a minute, there’s just something in all of us that we want the approval or the affirmation of the people that we look up to. We know the reasons why we look up to them are vast and varied, but there’s just a group of people. And oftentimes it is the people we report to that we look up to whose affirmation and approval means so much. But here’s the catch. Those of us are perceived as being part of the up to club. I’m part of the up to club, right? There are people who look up to me, Suzy, you’re part of the up to (06:22): Club. (06:23): Those of us in the up to club, we don’t always take this dynamic into account the way we should. And one example being that we don’t take into account the weight of our words. We talk to the people who look up to us the way they talk to us. And we don’t take into account the fact that we are the people they look up to. And real quick, and as I was thinking about our discussion, I thought about my experience with my dad growing up. He was a famous television preacher. And literally even for those in our audience who never heard of my dad, Dr. Charles Stanley, I understand that. But my whole life, from the time I was a teenager forward, everywhere we went in the city, people would come over and talk to my dad just about everywhere we went in the country, people would just, oh, you’re Dr. Stanley. (07:10): So I had the front row seat to watching how important my dad was to people that he had never met, and they had never met him. I could see how his undivided attention and his words meant so much to these people, and they looked up to him because of the impact he’d made in their lives. They were in awe. And his words in those few moments were so weighty. And I understood early that he understood the role he played in their lives, and he didn’t consider himself special, but he knew they considered him special, and he took that into consideration in those conversations. So having watched this play out in front of me for years and years and years is something I’m super sensitive to. I definitely don’t always get it right, but it is just a dynamic that every leader should take into consideration and use to leverage in the right way for the people around us. Suzy Gray (08:06): Well, Andy, I’ve seen the same thing happen when people meet you. Andy Stanley (08:09): Well, thanks. It’s true though. So I know this is weird for me to talk about this really because of my experience growing up that I just described. As I said, I’m so aware of this dynamic and I also am so aware of how special I am not, but I’m responsible for stewarding my influence. Well, and I know what I represent sometimes even to strangers. And people will walk up to me in Walmart or Home Depot or in a restaurant and say, Hey, hate to disturb you. And I realize in that moment that I have meant something to these people, and now I am responsible for my words. And suddenly in those exchanges, my words become very important and I’m accountable for how I respond and what I say and how I say it. And these are opportunities. And every leader has those opportunities. And I know, again, in those moments, my words are weightier than I deserve for them to be, but they are. (09:07): And so I have to take that into account. And again, I’m not special. I’m not smarter than anybody else, but for whatever reason, oftentimes I’m in a position that people look up to like every leader is. And we should all be good stewards of that responsibility because leadership is temporary. It’s not always going to be there. Our influence is temporary. Those opportunities are temporary. And as I often say, leadership is a stewardship. It’s temporary, and we are accountable. And if we can keep that front and center regardless of our position within an organization or family or a community or a neighborhood, whatever it might be, we have an amazing opportunity and we are responsible for how we leverage that opportunity and we should leverage it. Well, Suzy Gray (09:50): So true. So let’s dive into some takeaways or applications for leaders as it relates to the weight of your words. I’ve broken it down into four broad ideas based on things I’ve heard you teach and say on this topic. So I’m going to throw ’em out and you can respond to ’em. Andy Stanley (10:04): Got you. Suzy Gray (10:05): All right. So the first one is words shape, culture and trust. The words leaders use shape the very foundation of an organization. Talk about that. Andy Stanley (10:15): And again, for our podcast listeners, this is true if you have two direct reports, because if you have two direct reports, you have a small team, but that’s your team, right? Your team has a culture. (10:28): It may reflect the broader culture of your organization, but regardless of, again, how many direct reports or how many people are responsible to you, this is true that our words shape culture and they shape trust. We’ve talked a little bit about this before. Culture isn’t built by policies and mission statements or even company perks. It’s built in part, or maybe for the most part by the words that are used and the tone that is set within the organization based on how we talk to each other, how we communicate with each other. And if you want to understand the culture of your team, don’t look at the values or on the website or written on the walls, listen to the conversations in the hallways because that is where culture is being shaped, and that’s where culture is being reinforced. It’s reinforced by those conversations. And all of those conversations are just a string of words, and we have an opportunity to speak into them, if that makes sense. Suzy Gray (11:18): So that’s an interesting way to put it. There’s actually an example that comes to mind. You and I were actually talking about it recently of where words really transformed a culture, and I’m thinking about Bob ER’s return to Disney. Remember that? Andy Stanley (11:31): Yeah. And again, all we know is what we’ve read, but it appears the story, and I don’t doubt this is true, that obviously I think most of us know Disney was struggling when he returned as CEO. A couple of years, I guess a couple of years ago, Morales down financial struggles. Employees didn’t really know what the future held for them or for the company. And again, Iger could have walked in and talked about profit margins and restructuring and efficiency, and probably in some capacity, in some context, he did. I mean, you got to address all that stuff. But publicly, and in terms of what the people in the organization felt broadly is that instead he started using words that recent, the company on its core identity. He talked about creativity and storytelling. He even talked about magic. (12:19): But again, magic is what Disney is supposed to be all about. That’s the banner. And so he came in, and again, he brought some of that language back. He put it on the top shelf. He came in not just vision casting in some sort of corporate way, but he talked about the things that were ultimately important to that culture and to the product of Disney. And apparently it worked. There was a boost in morale and there was a turnaround. So to the degree that we know what actually happened, that was certainly a big part of it. And I do think it’s a great illustration of what can happen when leaders leverage the right words, especially at critical times in the life or the life cycle of an organization. Suzy Gray (12:58): Yeah, it’s interesting because it seems like that leaders talk the way leaders talk actually precedes the culture that they want, which actually makes perfect sense if you think about it. So let’s get really practical here. If I’m a leader listening to this and I want to start using my words to shape culture, where do I begin? Andy Stanley (13:15): Well, again, I knew you were going to ask me this question. So I have three ideas and I’ll try to tease these out. And let’s be realistic. You don’t shape culture with a speech. You don’t reinvent or reengage people in a culture with a speech. This is a process. It takes weeks, it takes months. But regardless of how long it takes, it really is about the words the leader uses and the words that the leader makes front and center every time he’s talking to people who have the potential to move the organization forward and who are in a sense creating culture their own way. So number one, I just wrote down, audit your words or begin to listen to the words you choose, because none of us do this unless we’re intentional about it. Pay attention to the language you use. Are you using words that actually reflect the culture you want? Or are you simply responding to the culture you have? (14:05): And (14:05): This is the thing that Bob Iger so well, he reintroduced words and ideas that had been lost (14:12): At that particular time in the history of Disney. He brought them back. So there was some intentionality about that. The other way you can leverage your words, and this is maybe a topic all on its own, is leaders listen to the questions you ask the most. Because, and again, thinking about words, the questions we ask the most communicate what we value the most. And if we’re not careful, we will communicate that we value something that we’re not asking other people to value. Perhaps the most familiar illustration is the parent who every time he or she gets home and she sees her kids or he sees his kids, it’s like, well, how did you do on the test? What was your grade? What was your grade? What was grade? What grade did you make? Well, over time, kids realize the most important thing to my mom or my dad or my grades. Grades not, did you do your best or were you respectful today? Suzy Gray (15:01): Kind, Andy Stanley (15:01): Were you kind today? All those kinds of things. So the questions we ask the most, emphasize or underscore what we really value the most. (15:11): And we need to make sure that our words and our questions in particular really do underscore what we value most. And that means there’s some questions we should quit asking. There’s some new questions we need to build into the vocabulary. So when I talk about auditing our words, it’s a part of what we say. It’s thinking about what we don’t say, what we don’t say enough, and the questions that we ask the most. Because if you ask the same question over and over, after a while, you’re not going to have to ask the question anymore because people are going to present you with the answer before you ask the question, because they know what you’re looking for. They know what you value. So an exercise is to think about what are three things? What are three values in our organization or in our culture that I would like to raise? Craft a question? Just start asking that question and people will begin to respond. It’s just the nature of how a leader can leverage words to impact and shape culture. So that’s number one. The second thing I wrote down is almost repeat. It’s basically intentionally reinforced key values. Again, if you want collaboration, start praising collaborative efforts. If you want risk taking, you start celebrating. Failure is a learning opportunity. So again, anything you can do to reinforce what you want repeated, what’s reinforced or what’s rewarded is repeated. And our words are rewards and our words reiterate again, what’s most important to us? Look for ways to intentionally reinforce key values with our words. (16:40): Then the third thing, again, we’ve talked about this as well, and as much as I talk about it, I still don’t do it very well. So it’s a good thing I’m talking about it. In some ways, we need to be the echo, the leaders. We should be the loudest voice in the room as it relates to what’s most important in the organization. We should be the loudest voice in the room as it relates to what’s most important in the organization. And there are things we need to say consistently, even though we think we’ve already said ’em, and we’ve said them enough that we just need to repeat those things over and over until we see those things lived out, whatever they might be within the context of a particular culture. But again, all of this comes down to the words we use and the words we choose. And we cannot be content with just saying what comes to mind. Words are tools, and we have to use them effectively, which means it requires some intentionality. Everybody listening who is a parent understands this and has experienced the positive side of this and the negative side of this, those of us who can remember how our parents talk to us, we understand the power of words. As leaders, we have an opportunity and a responsibility to leverage them well. Suzy Gray (17:47): Wow. And for me, that last one is a big, I think a lot of leaders assume that once they’ve said it, everyone’s heard it. But I mean really it takes constant repeating, doesn’t. It Andy Stanley (17:57): Does. I mean, even in our organization, every once in a while, I just sense that something we value most is sliding off the table because it’s not urgent. And we’re focused on the urgent stuff. And generally what is most important is rarely most urgent. And our words can again bring what’s most important back to the top of the conversation. So Suzy Gray (18:17): Good. Okay, moving on. I’ve heard you say words are not equally weighted. Negative words carry more weight than positive words, which is so true. But why is this so easy to forget Andy Stanley (18:28): When Suzy Gray (18:28): We have all been on the receiving end of a bad ratio? Andy Stanley (18:32): Yes. And again, you said you’ve heard me say this. Obviously I did not make this up. This is just a reality. Again, as you said, we all know this and it’s so important because every leader has felt this, but most of us don’t realize why it happens. And again, as I said earlier on in the conversation, there’s science behind this. Psychologists call it a negativity bias. I think that’s the phrase, a negativity bias, that our brains are actually wired to hold on to negative experiences much longer than positive ones. In fact, the research from that Harvard Business Review article that we looked at shows that in workplace relationships and workplace relationships, now it takes five to nine positive words to counteract just one negative comment. Wow, think about Suzy Gray (19:16): That. That’s a lot. Andy Stanley (19:17): And my first response to that when I first saw that was, okay, this is terrible for me to say, who has time for five to nine? Before I get to the thing I need to say, it’s like, Hey, could you come back in a few minutes? First, I need to, I mean, five to nine. Suzy Gray (19:31): I got to tell you nine things really quick before it’s what I really want to Andy Stanley (19:34): Say. I can’t think of nine, but I got to get to the negative one. Suzy Gray (19:37): We got to get that Andy Stanley (19:38): Correct. We got to get this going. (19:39): But the point is, and the takeaway is, as a leader, I need to make it a habit to be intentional about noticing those positive things as I move through the day and as we move through projects together. So when there is a bump, there’s a soft surplus landing. There’s a surplus, right? Because I’m about to make a big withdrawal. That means if you leaders, if you think your feedback is balanced at 50 50, 50, half good, half bad, it’s not because negative words carry more weight. In fact, I’ll just ask our audience to think for a minute. And Suzy, you could answer out loud if you want. How many of you can still remember something? One of our parents said to us that was negative years and years and years ago, it just Suzy Gray (20:23): Sticks. Andy Stanley (20:24): So here’s mine. So I had big curly Peter Frampton hair for people who know who Peter Frampton is, or the way he looked in the seventies and the eighties. So I have pictures to prove this. Well, you just sent me a picture. (20:40): I just sent to a picture. Oh, that’s right. You’ve seen my Peter Frampton here. Indeed. So my mom loved it, my dad. So I get home from getting a haircut, and he wanted you to cut that hair short. So I came home, and here is a quote. My mom drove me. So I was not 16 yet, so say 15. I’m 15 years old. And I quote, my dad said, now you look like my son. Oh, yeah. The whole podcast audience just groan. I still remember that now. My dad was great. I mean, he was a wonderful dad, but that statement just boom, that’s an arrow. So anybody else, nobody else wants to share. Suzy Gray (21:28): And it goes to the point of all these years later, Andy Stanley (21:32): It Suzy Gray (21:32): Sticks out because for every one negative comment, you have to stack at least five positives to balance it Andy Stanley (21:38): Out. Well, you have to stack it. You have to put in five at work, at home, and more personal relationships. Just like 25. 25. Yeah, it really is with marriage and everything else. Suzy Gray (21:50): Definitely. Andy Stanley (21:50): So anyway. Suzy Gray (21:52): Well, that makes sense. I mean, we don’t remember everything our bosses say, but we never forget that one really harsh critique in that meeting. Andy Stanley (22:00): So we’ve got to be intentional, not about balancing. Well, it’s kind of a balance, but it’s a nine to one. It’s a ratio. It’s a ratio. Two, you can speak to this, Suzy. There are some people who are just naturally, they’re just encouragers. They’re just wired that way. There are other people who they don’t say much, and they only say what needs to be said. So what do you say to the, I mean, the encouragers, they’ve got this, they can’t figure out why the rest of us don’t grow up and get this right, because it comes so natural to them. But in a corporate environment, this isn’t as natural. So you’re an encourager. What are your thoughts about the people they’re like, why can’t they get this right? Why is this so hard? Suzy Gray (22:41): I think for people that it doesn’t come natural. You definitely are going to have to have a system, even like a note on your calendar that says, look for the good today, or whatever it is, so that there’s a reminder, this is something I’m going to have to be intentional about, not because I don’t see it. It just isn’t natural to me to, Andy Stanley (22:58): I forget to say something, Suzy Gray (22:59): Give it to say something. So I just think that’s when systems are needed more than ever in those kind of situations. And I think it’s hard because those of us that are effusive or more encouraging by nature, there’s a flip side of it as well, because we can’t just never give negative feedback, can we? Andy Stanley (23:18): No. Before we get to that though, because what you said is so important about systems. So Diane Grant, my admin assistant for 27 years, we have a system. She created it. I didn’t ask for it, but she knew I needed it. She knew you needed it. So when I’m meeting with people, I think we’ve mentioned this before, she’ll tell me their Enneagram number. She’ll say their words of encouragement. She’ll say their quality time. She’ll give me their love language, she gives me the profile. And this is her way of saying, be sensitive to that. Communicate with their grid in mind, Andy, not yours. (23:51): Because we all think everybody’s like us. And if I don’t need much encouragement, then nobody needs much encouragement, which is completely wrong. So even those cues, even giving somebody who works with us or around us permission to remind us. The other thing she does is when somebody does something great and somebody emails us about it, she’ll print the email, underline it, and say, just write a short note and I’ll send it to ’em. I just wouldn’t think to do that. I don’t even like to read positive things. I like to read the negative things so we can fix ’em and make things better. And she’s like, Nope, you need to read this. Here’s the staff member, here’s what they did. And she gives me those opportunities because everybody listening wants to be good at Suzy Gray (24:30): This. That’s right. Andy Stanley (24:30): But some of us need more help than others. And some of us, as you said, need a system. Suzy Gray (24:34): Need a system. Andy Stanley (24:34): So anyway, so you are going to talk about correction. Suzy Gray (24:37): Well, on the other side of that though, so there’s a system for obviously giving positive feedback, but negative feedback sometimes is required as well. But this doesn’t mean we just never give negative feedback, Andy Stanley (24:50): Right? No, no. And that’s a softball question. You knew that. But here, the point of bringing it up, I assume, is a person’s ability to receive the negative oftentimes is determined by the ratio of negative deposit. Suzy Gray (25:05): Yeah, the relational equity. Andy Stanley (25:06): Yeah. Is this person really for me, or is this person looking, just looking for opportunities to point out what Suzy Gray (25:10): I do? Yeah, they’re looking for a Gotcha. Andy Stanley (25:11): Yeah. Suzy Gray (25:12): Alright. So we’ve talked about how words shape culture and how negative words carry more weight, but there’s actually another layer, and it’s arguably the one that weighs the most. Andy Stanley (25:22): And again, we’ve touched on it. But basically the thing as a leader, I need to remember is this, the source of a word determines the weight of the word. That source determines weight, that who says it determines how it lands, which means the words from a leader land differently than words from a peer. And this is something that so oftentimes that leaders forget, because again, we forget that there’s the look up to club that again, we don’t represent to them what they represent us. And we’ve talked about this a little bit. It’s two different relationships. I have a relationship with someone who reports to me. They have a relationship with someone who holds all the cards in the organization. That’s two very different relationships, which means the words have different weight. Their words are lighter to me than my words are to them. So again, this is just a dynamic that’s playing out every single day all around us, and it’s something we are responsible for, have to take responsibility for. And consequently, remember that our compliments way more and our criticisms way more. And again, that’s why that whole ratio thing is so important that the source of a word determines the weight of a word. Suzy Gray (26:27): That’s why leaders must be aware of how heavily their words land, really. Andy Stanley (26:30): Yeah. Suzy Gray (26:31): Okay, last one. You say, regardless of our words, intent is irrelevant. That what we meant by what we said is secondary to how it was received. That’s a tough one. Andy Stanley (26:43): And we’ve all experienced this at home, and we’ve all found ourselves saying, wait, that’s not what I meant. That’s not what I meant. And we think if I say, that’s not what I meant, it’s okay, then everything’s fine. It’s not, we’ve just pulled the words back in as if we never said them. And we know that’s not true. Or we say this, wait, wait. You took that the wrong way. It’s Suzy Gray (27:01): Your fault. It’s your Andy Stanley (27:02): Issue. Yes. And see, and that you bring up a really important point, Suzy, when I say to you, you’re taking it the wrong way. I am now blaming you for feeling something in response to what I (27:15): Said. (27:16): But you are not to blame. In fact, there’s not really blame. But as soon as I’m, if I accuse you of taking something the wrong way, so the point in terms of our leadership and our weighty words is simply this. We just have to remember that intent is irrelevant. What we intended by what we said is irrelevant in terms of how it lands with the person. So again, sometimes we have to take responsibility for how we said what we said, and I think take responsibility even when they didn’t take it the way we meant it. And the worst thing we can do is try to explain it. And we’ve all made that makes so much worse. Yeah. We’ve all made that mistake in our marriage, honey, what I meant to say. And it’s like, oh, well, everything’s fine now. It’s not fine. It’s not Suzy Gray (27:58): Fine. Nope. And you already said it. Andy Stanley (27:59): Yes, that doesn’t work. So again, just remembering that intent is pretty much irrelevant, which means we have to measure our words carefully and use our words intentionally. Suzy Gray (28:11): So what do we do? Andy Stanley (28:13): What do you do? Well, you did the hardest thing possible. You apologize and then stop talking. (28:18): You don’t say what I meant. An apology plus an explanation is an excuse. That’s just an equation, an apology plus an explanation as to why that’s so true. That lands like an excuse, not an apology. So we own it and then we just stop talking, which may be one of the most difficult things to do. And again, and let me dive into this. In fact, I think we’re going to talk a little bit about this in the reverb follow-up next week. But these things are much easier to notice initially. And I would say more quickly at home or in personal relationships than at work. (28:57): Definitely. (28:57): Because at work we’ve got on our professional hat and our professional garb and button, our professional poker face. So somebody says something to me at work and hurts my feelings, Hey, I’m just going to be stoic and just finish the meeting. And so consequently, I may hurt someone’s feelings or say something insensitive at work and never find out about it, never know or find out about it. Second or third hand days later or a week later, Suzy Gray (29:24): I’ve been meaning to tell you, or Andy Stanley (29:25): In an exit interview, it’s like they did the exit interview. It’s like, well, three years ago, Andy. It’s like, wait, I don’t even know what happened about. I don’t even remember. So it’s even more important that in our leadership position that we are dialed in and sensitive to, because there is not generally a feedback loop that gets this information back to us in a professional environment like it is at home when we just know quicker at home. And that’s on us. And that has a lot to do with the culture we’ve created as to whether or not people feel like they can come back and respond. So anyway, this is a big deal. Suzy Gray (30:04): Well, it’s such a big deal. We’re going to talk about it more next week, and it’s so, so important and so practical. But Andy, as we wrap up this time, how can leaders be more intentional about the weight of their words? Andy Stanley (30:14): Well, it’s what we’ve said. It’s accept the fact that your words weigh a lot, that they weigh more. And to figure out how to use that to other people’s advantage. Every day, every day, our words weigh more. And it’s not because we’re special, it’s because we’re in a place where people look up to us, and in some cases we earned it and deserved it. In other cases, they just work where we work and they inherited us as a boss. They didn’t get to choose us, (30:39): But it’s a reality. So we have to remember that our words are weighty, that our words are weightier to them than oftentimes their words are to us. We need to pay attention to our ratio. For those of you who are not natural, encourage, Suzy said, you need a system. You need somebody that can remind you and help you. Hey, make sure you remember this. Did you know they did this? Make sure you mentioned that. We need people to help us with that. And then lastly, use your words to reinforce your culture. What do you want to be a reality in your culture? And what can you say and say over and over and over that reinforces that culture? Because culture basically is created by behaviors and by words, and maybe words are as important as behaviors when it comes to creating culture. It is certainly a big factor in the process. Suzy Gray (31:22): Wow. Well, I love that. And leaders, if you take nothing else from this episode, take this, that your words are never neutral, so use them. Well, Andy Stanley (31:33): That’s really true. There are no neutral words are there? There Suzy Gray (31:36): Are no neutral words. Andy, this has been a really awesome conversation. Thank you. I know it’s helped so many leaders out there and could dramatically change how they communicate both in the workplace and hopefully at home. To our listeners, thank you for listening. And before we leave, we would like to ask you to subscribe. By subscribing you help us grow the audience, which allows us to keep improving, bringing you great guests and great content to help you as a leader go further faster. Also, be sure to visit the Andy stanley.com website where you can download the leadership podcast application guide that includes a summary of this episode, plus questions for reflection or a group discussion. And join us next week for reverb where Andy and I will dig even deeper on this topic of the weight of your words right here on the Andy Stanley Leadership Podcast. 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